I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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