With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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