pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
