i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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