she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
