who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
