last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
