You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
