OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
