Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
