I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
