I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
