WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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