I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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