Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
