My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just gift wrapped bread.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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