So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
