we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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