I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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