You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My balls are so social today.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
