Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
