so that wasnt chicken after all
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
