please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
