He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
