part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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