3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
