I hate all girls vehemently.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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