I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
