just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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