Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize
