Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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