Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
