I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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