just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
