I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
