problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
