they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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