Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
