so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
