Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
