Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
