Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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