So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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