Will you blow on my dice?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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