thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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