Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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