he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I looked at my own cervix.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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