how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
