Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
