Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My ass is underappreciated
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
