youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
try to milk me bitch
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