dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
