A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
