dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
